Friday, December 31, 2010

Listening to Thay's live Talk

雖然連接不是太好,時時停了下來,可沒有介意,能靜靜地聽。這也是一種修習。

很喜歡這句話

知道與做到是地球與月球之間的距離
是遠也是近,看得到。可,真的看到嗎?那小小的白圓就是嗎?

快手快腳

全部事情都是給我同一日做好,沒有可能吧!早來了就快快做好。

不用做

好了好了,又順利把一工作轉移。雖然有很多的善後工作,可不用落手落腳做總是好的。

Free Cake??!!!

waiting.....

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Tomorrow is Holiday

although I need go to work :)

發呆

什麼也不想做。

Maybe I need to be Happy

Compared with a position which is much higher than mine, maybe I need to be happy :)

無聊買

買了五十塊。

好吃

昨晚吃的,今晚又吃,意粉轉了薯仔。還有的是可以選糖水,要了黑糯米。

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

數是這樣計的

1.5 - 1.5 x 2/3 + 1 = ??

Shoulder Move

昨晚,動(不太久)到肩膀的所有關節都是暖的。

心煩

好想一睡了之,可卻要面對的。重複又重複,不想再說這是磨練。好好想想應是怎樣。

寫了這些,能笑了。

問,答

不答,不想被玩。

什麼什麼

不好的,就什麼也關我事;好的,一句鼓勵也沒有,還說我做得不好。我的猜想,一一實現了。人家不做事情,就來罵我。我知,莫須有嗎!無端端又來說我不懂,不懂就告訴我應該知道什麼;可沒有。是啊!就是什麼也不懂也能弄出成績來,死未!當然我是懂的。

Done

Yeah! click click for 7. Crazy!

點解

沒有事情發生,為何她總是說事情在發生 (一次又一次)。如果硬要說,就是我開始了修習。
為何我總要為別人幻想的事情而有情緒??!!

沒話說

其實,可以說的很多。
想點, 不好問我,問你自己。我沒有想什麼,是你們不知道自己想什麼。
做了這麼多,說我什麼也沒做。沒有話要說,不想浪費精力。
是但!!!!

要做的,環境不利,要好好照顧情緒。

繼續無聊 click

在想, 有幾多時間就是這樣度過的。事情做了,可做過什麼,不知道。與其是這樣,睡覺好了。
實在太無聊,想方法快點無聊完畢。

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

轉來轉去

昨晚在床上的狀態。

HKD12 變 HKD20

白粥貴了兩塊,給錢以後才告訴沒有白粥,要等,轉要有味粥,要加六塊。

低B 感覺

很濃很濃,點好??!!

無聊 click

連問題都不看就做了。看,為什麼呢???!!

溝通不了

雖然談了很久,可就是溝通不了。他沒有聽,很快就說了一些他以為是一樣的東西。

或者,我說的,別人聽起來就好像沒有可能的,好像把事情神化了。試一試,就知道。不過要準備好才試,否則也是感受不到好處的。信願行,次序就是這樣。

記起在營裡聽到的話,有人說著一法師跟一aunt 說“找到你的門沒有”。從來也不喜歡胡亂試的感覺,感恩地,一踏就進了對的門。是那份安穩告訴我是對的。

Monday, December 27, 2010

今天

下午睡了四個鐘。穿了保暖襪子,腳還是冷的啊!幸好晚上洗了熱水澡後,腳不會感覺冷。

Sunday, December 26, 2010

火鍋

今次用回雞湯,沒了酸的味道。上次用的是豬骨濃湯。

Dharma Talk

Event: August 24, 2010. 100-minute dharma talk given by Thich Nhat Hanh in Upper Hamlet, Plum Village, Dharma Cloud Temple.

my recording:
  • you have to prepare to do meditation
  • a person asking how to have more luck, Thay replied Good Luck
  • to wake up asap and take up responsibility
  • how to promote understanding
  • suffering, hungry for understanding
  • how i can understand my own suffering
  • understanding is foundation of love
  • cannot listen with compassion, we cannot help other persons

Listening to Thay's Dharma talk on Relationship and Fidelity in Plum Village

like the sound of chanting

my recording:
  • breath, smile, and you are alive
  • if you don't feel safe, you are not at home of yourself
  • cannot transform the suffering but transmit to others
  • understanding is love
  • understanding of others is not possible if not understanding self

沒能聽完(其實也不太用心聽,聽的時候在網上流連),回家火鍋去。

今年

繼續沒有了節日憂鬱,其實也感覺不到節日的氣氛。

午餐

沒改餐牌的很多人,沒有茶餐的沒人。最後吃了麥記。

Saturday, December 25, 2010

跟小朋友玩遊戲

冬至那晚,跟小朋友玩波子棋。這個嘮叨姨媽,當然是教育為先。讓妹妹明白合作的好處,也告訴她壞心腸(當然是哥哥)的後果。

To Stop

Binding themselves in those states of mind, they bring themselves more misunderstanding and suffering. I have looked deeply into the states of mind of unhappy people and I have seen hidden under their suffering a very sharp pointed knife. Because they don’t see that sharp pointed knife in themselves, it is difficult for them to deal with suffering.

5. The pain caused by the sharp pointed knife lasts a long time and does not change. Because they continue holding onto the knife like that, they fill the world with suffering. Only when they have the opportunity to recognize it and extract it from their hearts will the suffering cease. And only then will they have the chance to stop.
簡單的事情,原來也可以很難。

Interbeing

The word Tiep has many meanings. To receive is the first. To continue is second. To be in touch with (life, suffering) is third. The first thing we must do is to receive. The way Thay walks. Talks. This is his way of transmitting. The word Hien. First, it means the thing that is present. Now. The dharma door of plum Village is the present moment. Second, it means realization. Realizing the practice. Third, manifestation. We could also add another meaning. Make it appropriate to the time and place. Actualization. With all these meanings, it can’t so easily translate into English. Therefore, we have Order of Interbeing and we must study to understand its meaning.

Backbend

站著做backbend,前身軀很快就感覺不適。今天發現,坐著做backbend,效果 (chest open) 也是一樣的。

Listening

After the bell, we are reminded that all the questions appear to be linked together and if we answer one question then we can answer all the questions. The remain hour is spent hearing about peace, understanding, and compassion. The premise of this discussion is that even if we do get what we need, we still suffer. Examples of this are everywhere.

The question is how can I understand my own suffering. It is the art of listening. You have to train – to practice mindful living – so you can listen to the suffering in yourself. Intention is not good enough.

Practise to Be

As a practitioner, we need to know where we’re going and what we want to become. We have to be free and not be burned by the afflictions of anger, attachment, jealousy, etc. nirvana has to be lived and touched here and now.

Stopping

Stopping is our practice. Everything is a training for a new habit. When we eat, walk, shop, cook, clean the bathroom. You can get enlightened by stopping, looking, and practicing.

排隊的店

家附近的食店頗冷清,可茶餐廳有煲仔飯供應的要等位。

這話題是寫過的了。
事情要離開,很好的事啊!
太多太多,努力經營的東西要送走。
沒有不捨的。不用做,多好。
朋友S 老是說著別人的壞話(這人做了他從前做的),說著他不像他那樣地處理。
不是你的工作範圍,就不用理會了。
他自己的,很少說的。
這樣的人生,多沒意義。
又時常說著別人說公司沒有給機會。是嗎?能力如何?可以勝任。真的?
如果有能力,找別家公司工作去好了。為何要愁??!!
這樣的人生,多沒意義。

發覺,跟人家一起抱怨,話題就會多。這是體驗啊!小組的同事,近來主動跟我談了。可,我不想這樣。跟他的所謂“抱怨”,出發點是要讓他知道將會發生的事,免得有錯誤的期許。

單純的工作,可以做得好好。可現在已經有點政治了,做什麼也是不對的,而沒有什麼是應該走的方向。

Insight

Mindfulness brings you to the present. This is insight.
可以好簡單。深入的,未能體會,就由最基本開始。

突然吵鬧

昨天,突然聽到吵鬧的聲音。好好的平安夜,一點都不安靜。現在回想,可以把那嘈吵聲,當為鐘聲。

Dharma Talk

Event: September 8, 2010. 72-minute dharma talk given by Thich Nhat Hanh in Singapore during the Peaceful Mind, Open Heart Retreat at the Kong Meng San Pu Jue Zen Monastery.

my recording:
  • to practise to listen to the bell
  • to come home to the present moment
  • sound of the bell is kind of reminder
  • our mind back to our body
  • don't take a long time, just 2 to 3 seconds
  • basis practise, to bring mind to the body
  • to enjoy
  • if suffer, the practise is not correct

午餐

牛肉火鍋定食。不知什麼原因,起初味道是甜的,慢慢有點酸味。

Friday, December 24, 2010

看表演後帶回來的

看到舞團的,有些進步了,有些體力下降了。看到一些認識的,長大了。回想自己,也在進步中,在歡喜的環境中成長。

小吃

新出品,買。第二次吃了。

早餐

已經買了麵包,後買了這個。麵包成了晚餐。

Listening to Thay's Christmas Eve Dharma Talk in Plum Village in France

instant record:
  • no practise, Budda is outside
  • with practise, Budda is in myself
  • Budda means mindful

點都要話你

件衫ok,不過看來hip 很大(我的hip 從來也不是細的)。
皮膚好了,可眼袋還在(我的眼袋從我細細個已經伴著我了)。

我是怎樣就是怎樣,身體健康就是了。不知道朋友平時說話是否這樣的呢?

好了

下個月,不需要做那些郵寄工作了。只餘下一項。那麼,真的不需要一個半日工。

突然想到

乘地鐵回家途中,突然想到(不知為何會這樣想),如果他要走,我也同日請辭。沒了他,根本留不住。不想做他做的,也不想請人,不想發生過的繼續發生。

想到忘記了下車。可車卡卻停著不能離開,慢慢走地離開;離開後列車還停著。

Delay

Have online access but data in report required is one day before. Really don't understand why is this.

無聊等

等下班。

Thursday, December 23, 2010

$$

Together with the 2nd quarter, it is almost same as last year. No need to mind the rest of the 6-month. It is not worth. Thing will not be handled by me and I don't have ability to control that much (mostly is I don't want to). Let it be :) Sure I know someone will "bilibala" often.

Without Checking

Just answered NO :P

飯後甜品

不用排隊給錢的選擇

當然可以買和果子,可不想花費那麼多。想買小包的豬肉紙,沒貨。綠豆糕,好味道。

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

问做的

问做的那人正确不正确,不需要查,当然说正确。这就是省的原则。 超水准,懒理是正确不正确。有钱收,要查的你们自己做了。呵呵呵!

Keep it Min.

Hehehe....actually I am keen on this. Try to skip some steps and see how others response. I want to discuss with them but normally got negative feedback. So do it this way is better :)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Panel

arm raise 又到了一個新層次,不只是raise 這麼簡單了。

To Connect

Instead of encountering the world through a filter of ideas, memories, and labels, we connect deeply with the unfiltered and vital pulse of life in that moment.
source: Yoga Journal

不買又買

沒有想過買禮物(參加了禪修營就是最好的禮物了)給自己,可今晚就買了五樣東西,為的是一張八八折的卡。花費,三百不到 :)

不做了

還有兩個小時,人走不了,可不想做事情。拖拖拉拉地過好了。

明天後天,還有更多的小動作。你做得越好,越不喜歡。我就是喜歡做好,對自己負責。

大大聲

自己都沒有做啊!不是要比較,只是想公平一點。可知道,某些情況下,不好說公平不公平。他大你小,就是這麼簡單。不過,當我做大的事情,是一定不會這樣的,是關於個人的原則。

小事情,大動作

冬至快來了,為何總要為難人。

我要高興,記著這四個字。

我要高興

有人發大神經,不關我事。如果事情是那麼簡單,就沒了問題。問題的發生,是當事人沒得好好溝通。高層,是高高在上的談空話,不見他們嘗試一下。耳朵關了,不說話了。可要做的總有方法。他要自己玩自己,由他。我要高興,就是了。

Should be Met

Another month all targets should be met.

If I were in London Airport Now

Sure will buy a very thick book to kill time. Then it is the best time to do meditation.
 
From the news, said the situation there liked the 3rd world. There is photo provided. If the situation in 3rd world is liked that, then we are peace in everywhere. It is how our children grown up nowadays.

Why Me

資料由她那裡出的,發覺有問題,告知,可要我跟老闆說。幾得意。由上而下,是我;由下而上,是我;我的也是我。其實,是我太好表現了,說不知道就可以,可就是不能過自己的一關。就算是簡單的排序,本想著不做了,可想想,不可以這樣,幾秒的事情罷了。

平和,本應如此,可現在卻不是太容易的事。平,好像在做mountain pose。

標籤

被標籤了是另類。其實,生命本應如此。

Monday, December 20, 2010

整個人感覺酸酸的,說的是體內。

現在午餐少用了十多塊,可算一算,一個月才三百多,沒有什麼用。

Enough for Today

:) leaving now.

怎樣

怎樣令自己喜歡呢? 好討厭討厭的感覺。討厭的是問問問,可能做的是零。又不是我要把工作轉移,別人做得慢,為何要我追追追??!!!

或者,不去想,就沒能討厭了。是這樣嗎??!!!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

小小的

太細,口感不太好。這是上星期買的。

隨拍

等吃時拍下的。

HKD150

今天買的。

老師送的

一千

單是這話題,也寫了這麼多。

Chilli Chocolate


幾得意,買來試試。辣的味道很少的,可會在身體內逗留。

Saturday, December 18, 2010

還冷

氣溫不是上升了嗎?還是冷。午睡時,雙腳凍凍的(反而冷的兩天腳是暖的) ,睡不好。

Friday, December 17, 2010

HKD13

午飯的價錢。

問我有沒有看,當然有。她重看,有些她也覺得有問題。數目不少的,沒有理由要一個沒有工作經驗的。一個要求差三分一的,可以考慮??!要我見人沒有問題,不過是浪費時間。這個遊戲不好玩,可以不玩嗎??!!

不好受

這麼的,不合就是不合。選不下手,好像我有問題的。當然,這可能是我的錯覺。次序也寫不好,都要見??!!

可能是

討厭的感覺,可能是這樣出現的。因為知道跟著別人說的來做,事情根本不能解決,也知道要怎樣才能得到一個答案 (答案未必能解決問題)。於是好像傻瓜一樣做無聊的事情,於是覺得討厭。雖然討厭的感覺來了便去,可要想想如何讓自己更好過。來來去去,令人疲累。好好的精力,不需要這樣浪費。

講不知道

這樣說,就好。但,不喜歡;可說了。因為事情一點也不關我事,也不想幫忙。

Thursday, December 16, 2010

有動作

講完等於沒講,卻說已經幫了忙。好!根本就是小動作。清楚就清楚,對我來說沒有問題,一樣可以通行。那麼,換個角度來做。最緊要,方向在。喜歡吹不定向風,沒問題,不好好像傻瓜一樣就好。

Peace

Get touch with the feeling of peace again. Last night, massaged the muscle around the shoulder, it was stiff. One thing learnt from yoga is to friend with body by own self.
 
This morning, doing the MTR experiment and the body is responding positively.

Talked

Just told me it was being discussed but there is no details. How to implement in Jan???!! 
 
By the way, I do the work by myself then :) Still liking to do all kinds of UAT, no matter it is easy or complicated. I still am a professional user :)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

無聊飲咖啡

昨天是罐裝,今天買了臺式的。

好大風

還下雨,所以冷。

走了去

等了三十分鐘,自己走了。不過分啊!感覺不被尊重。

Gift

A real gift. I don't know what it is as not yet opened it.

Not Buy and Bought

So funny. Pressed the cancel button and found that already purchased partially.

Guess

My guess maybe correct. Someone may go.

Still Want to Go

Today still feeling not so well. Maybe I need to start to search a new job. I meant it :)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Resentment

To prevent resentment from taking root in your body, pursue a more active physical practice of yoga. Breathe out resentment through pranayama. Commune with nature, which helps heal difficult emotions. Cultivate an intention, or sankalpa, to connect with others, and find a mutual bond during the holidays
Source: Yoga Journal

很好的提醒。

By Someone

be proud of your present responsibilities, you are trusted to handle more sophisticated tasks.
Someone said the above to me. Maybe it is me to think too negative. Sure!

3rd Joke

Need to explain to management while talking about company policy and procedure.

Another Joke

Support not being supported. If it is the case, why not to close down the local support to save cost.

Strong Emotion

I have a very strong emotion right now. It is due to a person doesn't review anything and said something which is not the truth. I have reviewed the task and the party responsible to it already done the job. It is the person whom doesn't want to make the role clear as it is easy for her to play around. In such situation, why I still keep on to be trapped.
 
Breathe and Smile :)

At a Moment

At a moment, I really want to resign.
 
Suddenly told you this should be done at the begining of the month. Not already started yet and told you the deadline is over.
 
And a very big joke is, a log cannot log anything. We need to communicate but there is no channel for you, sorry! I am not the action taker and need to be the one to clear the things.

Being Introduced

I was not being introduced with the new role (already a few months and with good results), just a half (or the old position). With this remark, sure knowing what level of effort needed to be put :)

來到這裡

看見身邊很多人的苦惱,想想自己,一路走過來,體驗學習,可說是很豐富的了。未來的路,努力修習;可自己卻是懶。

Monday, December 13, 2010

呼吸

雙手放到腹上,指尖相對,吸氣,手指應分開。導師說他看到有些人腹部是上下在動,可手指卻沒有離開過。

回家練習,得。

Sunday, December 12, 2010

古古力

好好吃,似三角古古力,這個不甜。

Understanding

understanding will arise from your own practice; it is not something that is given to you by somebody else. It can only arise from your own practice. People in India at that time really like theory and different teachers had different theories and people were inclined to think that you can be liberated by the theory. But the Buddha always said you can only be liberated by your practice. The Buddha gave some pointers and some way of pushing his disciples a little bit… "Why don't you look in this direction instead of always looking in that direction?" But it is up to the disciples to look in the direction the Buddha is pointing and to experience for themselves that direction.

World

In Buddhism we don't talk about the creation of the world we talk about the making of the world. "Sam" means coming together and "udaya" means arising, so that different things arising together make something and the world here can mean, well…. “What is the world made of?” The world is made of five skandhas: our body, our feelings, our perception (that is, our way of perceiving and naming things), and our mental formations and consciousness. That is what is meant by ‘the world’ here, because perceptions include everything that is around us, everything that we perceive, so the whole world is contained in the five skandhas. Body, feelings, perceptions, mental formations (emotions and thinking), and consciousness. That is the world.

No Self

So please understand that when we study sutras about emptiness or about no self, it is something that has to be practiced in our sangha and in our interactions with each other. It is not just an idea we have in our head about philosophy.
在開始聽禪師開示的時候,心裡總是想,我都知道了。知道太多,反而是障礙。回來看了很多關於梅村的文章,也看到關於法印法師的,他就是常被囑咐不要說太多理論上的。

功課

不好一開始就討厭。是一個頗有難度的修習。

Balance

Yoga brings balance and that isn’t really a choice, it is what occurs naturally as you persist and practice.
In my practice now, I choose these barometers: How present am I? How connected with my breath am I? How focused my mind is in ‘what is’, rather than ‘what could be’? Am I focused on a target or am I focused here? If I were to put all of these barometers away and give you one that incorporates all, it would be: how much expansion I am feeling? The more you feel expansion the more it indicates that you’re in the present, truthfully listening to your body, breathing comfortably, noticing all the inner openings taking place every millisecond. In that relaxed state of being, when you let go of trying to improve upon yourself, life improves you and, it does that in ways your mind couldn’t possibly understand. Trusting life more than trusting the mind is a sweet fruit that results from regular practice!

Two Knee Spinal Twist

做著這,很舒服的。

想買的那兩本yoga 書,出了四本的。好想好想要啊!待我讀yoga teacher class 的時候,就一次過買它們回來。

課堂體驗

很累啊!跟代課導師是不合的,嘻!

跪坐了五分鐘(或是十分鐘),腿伸直的時候有點難度,特別是左腳。
躺著呼吸,做到吸氣在前,呼氣在後。那感覺好美妙。
被調整了很多次,是要我多做一點。
躺著,一腿曲,另一腿的腳跟放在曲膝上,手圈著曲腿膝下的地方,把曲腿伸直。做完後,腰的後方是熱熱的。

被人認得啊!

一星期才去一次,可被人認得了。還沒說出第三樣東西,他已說了。

Saturday, December 11, 2010

漏了

拖了又拖,終於在網上報了稅,剛剛收到新的稅單,可沒見公積金的扣稅,又要搞過。

發夢

這是在夢。時常想著立即辭職去做想做的,有人會跟我給錢公司作通知賠償。

姐姐跟我

很多兒時的事情,還記得清楚。

甜的

見到那黃色(好像是木薯,不肯定)很美,買了來吃。

內裡轉

小小的幅度,身體內裡已懂轉動。

簡單

不是要自己不做這個不做那個,所做的是最多的了(再多是無謂是浪費)。這就是簡單。

簡單,令人感到富足。

23 Jul 09

還是這樣的。buy 我的同事,做起事來快手快腳,如不,好辛苦。

22 Dec 09

很高興的是,在星洲有很好的一個同事。新的工作也是她處理,會免了很多的麻煩。

覺醒生活

怎料抵步後,休息了一天,第二天大清早五時便要起床,因天氣寒冷,大家圍著大樹一圈一圈地走動做運動。跟著到禪堂坐禪、誦經,之後吃早餐,早餐後便開始工作,工作至午膳前,有一節約四十五分鐘的行禪。午膳後有少許時間休息,休息過後又要進行工作禪。晚飯前有晚禱——坐禪、誦經。飯畢小休後,我們在家眾還要上課至晚上十時左右。從朝到晚,一直沒有停過。差不多日日如是。另外,禪師每星期有兩次開示,我們又要坐車或步行到另一個道場去,時間便更緊迫。最初我感到很不耐煩,心裡嘀咕著:「怎麼搞的?我是來靜修的,怎麼這樣忙?又要工作,又要做這做那,完全沒有自己的時間。」直到過了兩星期,在第三週開始時,才忽然領會到原來禪修是這樣的:我原以為要騰出很多時間才可以修行,但修行原來就是這麼簡單,就在日常生活的瑣碎之中,能好好地去做每一件事,覺醒地做每一件事,就已是修行了。對我來說,這是一個非常大的發現。

我明白所謂覺醒生活(Mindful Living),就是做每一件事,都當下如實地做好那事;不慌不忙就是最好的修行。
確是如此的,很多事情要做(可我的感覺是,全是自己的時間)。

How to Sit

Most experts tend to agree with Julie Gudmestad, Yoga Journal's anatomy columnist and a physical therapist, who says the hips play a key role in proper sitting. "In order to sit comfortably, you need a lot of external rotation in your hips," she says; lack of external rotation prevents your knees from releasing down toward the floor. If rotation in your hip joints is limited, says Gudmestad, then your body will accommodate your attempt to rotate by moving at the next available joint. Unfortunately that joint is the knee, which is much less stable than the hip. The knee's main job is to flex and extend; it has no business twisting. When you externally rotate the leg at the knee instead of the hip joint, knee pain often results. And as any yoga teacher will tell you, knee pain is never a good thing: If your knee hurts in any cross-legged position, choose another way to sit.

做個快樂的婆婆

買早餐回家,在大廈門口碰到一婆婆,臉是繃繃的。那刻,跟自己說,從今天開始,好好練習臉帶笑容,要做一個快樂的婆婆。

想起

昨晚在床上,想起了被逼辭職的事件。想了又想,沒有做錯過什麼。如果要說,就是不太合群,可我把事情全做好。想想她,一點怨氣也沒有。在想,如果見到她,可以跟她談話的 (這點是有所改變)。

這是福氣。

Island of the self

Breathing in I go back to the island within myself.
There are beautiful trees within the island, there are clear streams of water, there are birds, sunshine and fresh air, breathing out I feel safe
I enjoy going back to my island.
每天就是練習這歌,不單是唱,而是體會。

那裡,不就是我們想要的嗎!還需要更多??!!

過去的人和事,造就了今天的我。只此而已。

活得一天比一天好,是對自己的承諾。算是做到了。

咖啡變了奶茶

照喝。

Change

Original: I am here for you (teaching from Thay). Really a few mins. cannot be found. (這是責備的說法,心裡確是這樣想的)

Amended: I am here for you (teaching from Thay). A few mins. can do.

愛語的練習。

Friday, December 10, 2010

特別效果

不知道為何會拍成這樣的,都幾有趣。

三種味道

一次過把所有味道買下來。

Don’t Pursue the Past

even when we had those moments in the past we didn’t really value them at the time, because in the past we were not able to live in the present moment. We were always running after the future, and now if we were taken back to the past, we would do the same. At that time life was more beautiful, the sun was brighter, the moon was brighter--those are words from a French song. There are people who pursue the past, not because they think the past was beautiful, but because the past has made them suffer, the past was a trauma, a heavy wound for them. We have suffered, we have been wounded, we have died in the past, and those heavy wounds are calling us back to the past, crying, "Come back here, come back to the past. I am the subject, you cannot escape me." That is what the past says to us. We are like sheep running back to the past, to enclose us, to imprison us, to make us suffer. The past is also a very great prison. We hear the words of the past, and we run back to the past, we refuse to live our life in the present moment, we are always going back to the past. So the Buddha says, "Don’t pursue the past."
每次的離開,都是感覺到不能再待在那裡了。現在回想,每一次都是好的決定。

上次吃的蘋果批好好吃,今次買別的。這個不好吃,好油(感覺上)。或者是因為留待晚上才吃。

十級好吃

那軟糖,非常好吃,連媽媽都吃完又吃。

走走

突然想出遊,可一個人不太願意走動。農曆新年去玩好嗎?不過好貴。

越來越不想做

那個女人,好煩,時常在製造事端。一個銀行戶頭,進來的錢,要兩個小組做不同的報表(她自己每天看,跟著說我們做的不對。多無聊)。不是嗎??!! 如果有機會她跟我談,我會問她為什麼。

明明有即時資料可看,卻逼人看昨天的。傻的。

在我所能管理的範圍,會儘量做得最少。跟她相處,聽,然後說ok。無論如何,我是不會跟她爭議什麼的。

Pebble Meditation

We invite each child to sit up straight and relaxed and place four pebbles on the ground next to him or her. We invite three sounds of the bell. Then we invite each child to pick up the first pebble and say:

Breathing in, I see myself as a flower. Breathing out, I feel fresh. Flower, fresh (3 breaths)

The keywords we continue to practice silently are “flower, fresh” and we breathe together quietly for three in and out breaths, really being a flower and becoming fresh. The next three pebbles are:

Breathing in I see myself as a mountain, breathing out, I feel solid. Mountain, solid. (3 breaths)

Breathing in I see myself as still, clear water, breathing out, I reflect things as they really are. Clear water, reflecting. (3 breaths)

Breathing in I see myself as space, breathing out, I feel free. Space, free. (3 breaths)

End with three sounds of the bell. (Children are very capable of guiding this meditation for other children. They really enjoy inviting the bell for each other).
這就是在公開講座所聽的四塊小石。

2011 Retreats in EIAB with Thay

在五月的一個,好想去。

夢中,走的是回頭路,可迷路了。當刻醒來,知道自己在家,可方向含糊。怕?沒有。好像是在慢慢呼吸,記不太清楚。

Gift :)

Happened in the last 2 mins.

Fleshly Eyes

Of course, with our fleshly eyes we need light, we need the removal of obstacles in order for us to see things. We can see stars, we can see flowers, the moon, we can see the trees. We can see the faces of children and adults, and we can enjoy a lot by just using our fleshly eyes; but if we do not know how to use our fleshly eyes, we suffer. We have eyes, but it is as if we don't have eyes at all. We have never looked deeply into the blue sky and smiled to it. Maybe we have already lived thirty years, forty years, but we have never had a chance to look into the blue of the sky and smiled to it. We have not made good use of our fleshly eyes because we do not know how to live in the here and the now, and we allow our fleshly eyes to be caught in the objects of our desire. We imagine a lot. We think these objects constitute our true happiness, and in fact they are only illusions. They are only the causes of our despair and suffering. We are fooled by these sights, these sounds, these odors, these touches and therefore we have not cleansed our fleshly eyes. For a good member of the Sangha, for a Transformation body of the Buddha, we should know how to cleanse, how to purify, to make the best use of our fleshly eyes for the suffering to be diminished and for our happiness to increase.

Vegetarian

There are many things here in the Sangha of Plum Village that just happened very naturally, without any effort. Like eating vegetarian. We don't think that any of us here has to make any special effort to be vegetarian. We just follow the vegetarian diet in a very natural and pleasant way. No one thinks that we are eating only vegetarian, and we enjoy it. All year round we forget that we are vegetarian, and that is why we are truly called vegetarian, because we don't think, we don't have the concept of vegetarian. But if you eat vegetarian and you still remember, "I am following a diet," then you are not really a vegetarian.
在營裡吃飯,就是這樣的啊!早起也是一樣,很自然就起來了。

同樣是找,別人找的是不同,我喜歡找相同。

這周,沒有去吃心愛的魚生飯(或者都是好事,那些酸薑,多吃也無益),因為有了“飯腳”。她沒有明言,五十塊對她來說都是貴的。

其實,如果一天多用二十,五天才一百。相對買衣買鞋,小數目。

2011

不經不覺,2011 靜悄悄的快來了。

這一年,不用多講,就是參加了Zen retreat。

有些東西,還時常念。希望有所體驗。

新來的,應該不會做的了。她跟我說很累和氣氛很怪。告訴她我們沒有什麼工餘的活動,她說有也不會參加。好決絕肯定的語氣。

找他,他找我

這遊戲好玩嗎?算!要我寫就寫。

口不對心

這很辛苦的。

Svadhyaya

Within yoga, self-reflection is called svadhyaya: "study" (adhyaya) of the "self" (sva). As one of the eight limbs of Patanjali's ashtanga yoga described in the Yoga Sutra, this practice of self-study refers to both the understanding of the Self through the study of sacred texts as well as the skill of self-observation that leads to yoga or unification.
Source: Yoga Journal Daily Insight

黑豆茶

在喝(其實是等喝,太熱)。

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Pray

The one who is asking, the one who is praying, is the starting point. That person has to see things clearly enough, has to be calm and serene enough, to ask for help; and first of all he or she should be truly there, concentrated, with a desire, an intention. This is the basic condition for the effectiveness of prayer. The one who prays should be truly there, established in the here and now, having a very clear intention, a very clear desire as to whom he or she will pray, and for whom he or she will pray. If the one who prays can put himself or herself in that situation, much has already been done. That person already has begun to generate the energy of prayer, because he or she is truly present in the here and now with concentration, with mindfulness and intention. If that does not happen, well, nothing will happen.

Thay and the Plum Village monastics in Japan

USD3,900 (excluding air ticket), so attractive. However don't have such long leaves.

Information

朋友S 說不明白我寫的牛是什麼。他早說,我會把書送他。可是,真的想學習嗎??!!

新朋友

是泰國人來的。

同事要離開回自己的家,多好。今天是他最後一天的工作,黃昏就離開了。

幸好沒有答應到星洲工作,不是的話,回家的是我。

下個月,有新搞作。老闆又會不停煩著我。討厭!

營裡的第五天開示 (最後的一天)

  • 心識 / mental formation / 心行
  • make the mind happy / 心悅 / 正精進
  • concentration on those we want to transform
  • release
  • object 法
  • 認知對象
  • 心的對象
  • relate to 時,事物
  • someone, something
  • relate to 無常的修習
  • observe 貪念
  • 止息
  • 減 (無生)cooling down
  • 放下, 本来就是日常用語
  • 禪修的題目:where the cloud come from
  • 不是無中生有
  • 表 manifestation
  • e.g. H2O, can be in many forms, like cloud, ice
  • to be, not to be , not a question
  • little flame outside of the box, due to oxgyen
  • 是顯現, 不是出生, not to make, not to destroy
  • flower comes from non-flower elements
  • littel flame experiment
  • question: same or different of the 2 little flames
  • 空 emptiness
  • 無作 / to remove 貪念, 欲望
  • not to find
  • to wake up, able to see Budda is within already

終於有人話聽

兩天來都問著同一問題,她看的是我感受到的;可我卻被人說不妥當。

最有問題的人當然是領導人。氣氛,是領導人製造出來的。她是怎樣的一個人,當然很清楚。神是她,鬼是她。

清清明明,最好。

Ego Not Exist

From the ultimate point of view, the ego doesn't actually exist. Buddhist and Vedantic teachers are fond of saying that the ego is like the blue of the sky, or the apparent puddle in the middle of a desert-dry highway. It's an optical illusion, a simple mistake in the way we identify ourselves. That's why fighting your ego is like boxing with your reflection in the mirror, or trying to rid yourself of something you don't have.
Source: Yoga Journal Daily Insight

Don't Post

Asked but no reply. Not to post it :P

上星期報紙所見,香港還有八十萬不到的樓。如果不用工作,住哪裡都沒有關係。

和平獎,不平和

講完。

Already Want to Sleep

Zzzzzz......tomorrow I am off :)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

不再一個人

是午飯啊!不過如果給我選,寧願一個人。說無聊話,累。

別話:少飯減一塊,一星期一天,剛剛是今天。不是因為錢的問題,而是飯吃得很少(珍珠醋飯除外),叫了三分一飯,帳單上是兩個少飯,減了兩塊;可飯來的時候好像跟正常的一樣多。

打算

不打算去明白,是明白不了的。動機很重要。

突然想起,世界上有沒有出現過平和。

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

走得快,好世界

你們說不對,跟我說有何用。跟他們說等老闆回來才談,也不願意。想如何呢?好怕一些類似小孩的大人。要我話事不難,可沒有這個權責。

哪裡來,哪裡去

怎會不知道的呢?倒轉來走一回,不是一目了然??!!

Game of Shopping

Just played one round :) Shopped for nothing in physical and it is fun.

開始慢慢地讀,那需要很多的耐性。讀什麼?營裡拿回來的小書。

Lazy Month

Normally this month is a very busy month ( refer to work), however this year I feel I am lazy already :)

Monday, December 6, 2010

去睡了

窮一生的精力在看,看什麼呢?如果只是看,看幾萬年也看不完。為什麼要看?看了又如何?這才是重要的。

很喜歡禪師說雲,喝茶時他說他在喝雲 (I am drinking cloud)。那時他跟我們解說formation。

Paris

Think back. Last year, I had a chance go to work in Paris. I thought if I knew Plum Village that time, I must go.
 
I will go in summer, within 2 years.

Lunch

The gal went to lunch by herself. Lucky I didn't do anything. I sure know I never were a joker :)

Something, Something

Emotion is there but we don't need to response by emotion :)

Women are Trouble

Although I am a woman but I need to say women are trouble. Sent the file to her one hour ago and she just kept on chasing. 討厭!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

課堂體驗

做L 倒立,導師說我做得好,背是直的。
table top,右手右腳齊提起,好穩定(左邊也是)。第一次。
頭躺在別人的膝上,雙肩被按著。後做corpse,整個身軀更貼地。
table top,別人躺在我的背上,雙手痹痹的。

是可以實現的。住一間小屋,每週去正念練習。
不知道,在那裡生活要多少錢呢?

有以上想法是因為有心工作,卻無心人事(無謂的言語,浪費精力,什麼也得不到)。人與人的相處沒有問題(雖然我不跟很多人主動接觸),可有人卻指指點點,方法卻一點也不行。hold your hand,誰人要你的所謂的幫助??!!跟我少說一點就是幫忙了。

念定慧

今早想到的,做到念,不太困難,可定字沒了心,這可難了,無心可要定。那麼,心往哪走?

是否,見山是山,見山不是山,見山仍是山,的說法呢??!!

心往哪走?定了,什麼地方都不去。不是嗎??!!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

聲音

關掉了電視,外邊的聲音都變得美麗,因為每一次聲音的出現,就是練習正念的時刻。

好大可能

過了下個月,就知道能拿多少了,好大可能已經是去年的全部。嘻!餘下的,她多數給我不合格的分數(但大老闆應該不會讓她成事的,不合理嗎。去年是由兩分變成四分。五分是最高的),不理我做了什麼。所以,什麼也不做了,呵!

別話:查了數次電郵,沒有她說的要求啊!

別別話:下個月,她會否讓我到星洲呢?很多朋友在那裡啊!

上月的今天

是準備入營的日子。好想好想,很快再去一次。明年的四月到七月,應該有rain retreat。

下星期五,會到尖沙嘴行禪,有緣的那裡見。在人多的地方做一個需要“靜”的活動,不知是怎樣的呢??!!

Your Love is Growing




Your love is deepening, evolving, and spreading. For you, love isn't what it used to be.

You haven't had the most love in your past, but you're starting to change that.

You are opening yourself up to more love in your life, and as a result, your love is starting to blossom.

You might not find it easy to love yet, but you're definitely getting there.

You Are Poetic




You see beauty, colors, and inspiration where other people see nothing.

You are a gentle and sensitive soul that craves love and understanding.

You take pride in your interesting ideas, and you feel wounded if others challenge you too fiercely.

You feel most comfortable in places where you know everyone. It's likely you are still in touch with your childhood friends.

You Fascinating and Truthful




You are a responsible person who enjoys taking care of others.

You believe in honest work and taking on commitments. You have a good character.

And while you are very trustworthy, you are by no means boring and dull.

You are bright, quick, and witty. You are a nonconformist who always has something interesting to say.

You Are a Traditionalist




You aren't impressed by anything that's too modern. You go for whatever is classic.

Some may call you a bit old school, but you know that old school eventually becomes new school!

You are together and quite successful. You know how to excel in every aspect of your life.

People envy your style and grace. They don't see all the hard work behind what you do.

善行

以為自己做了很多,卻得不到讚嘆而退心了,甚至起了怨心而講是非。這些都是在世俗諦中,無法契入勝諦的善行。

層次

某天,她說我錯了。跟她說是跟指示去做的。她說很有問題。很快,她的也跟著改了,可沒有告知。

她的思想很落後的,人家說得很明白是關於品牌,哪有地區性的分別。什麼都要管,問她某事情就說不記得。

吃飯做朋友

想想,我的朋友,都不用一起吃飯的,因為他們很多都不在香港。

2 Dec 10

吃飯不吃飯不是問題,而是我沒有話題跟人家說。她做的我不做,我做的她們覺得悶。勉強來做什麼??!!

那些幼稚的行為,不是要新來的整頓一下嗎?硬要我跟新來的“做朋友”(搶來做),如果人家不合,不是製造更多的麻煩嗎?

欲望

我相信不少現代人都會認同這種「零和」(Zero Sum)邏輯,但那是真的嗎?德國社會學大師韋伯(Max Weber)在其名著《新教倫理與資本主義精神》中,曾經提出過一個有趣的例子,指出在現代資本主義出現之前,農民大概只會就着他的所需,對土地投入適量的勞力,不會為了利益的最大化而不斷投入資源。滿足了基本所需後,農民大概只會休息,而非用盡自己的時間,追求最多的利潤。美國文化人類學家薩林斯(Marshell Sahlins)甚至說:「初民社會是豐裕的」,而人類之所以對土地投入勞力以獲取最高產量,並不是因為資源匱乏,而是因為欲望的增生。
其實,在追求什麼呢?朋友在短短三天中飛來飛去,第一句說的就是累。破壞了環境,又累,得到的是什麼呢?

不知道飛行對環境的破壞,比起吃肉,哪來得厲害?

欲,是欠。裕,在心裡。

《六度》

不知道邢亮會否出,好想看他。

10 Oct 10

看到這。第一個感覺是,這個演出沒有可能表達到六度這概念(如果由他來演繹,或者還有可能性)。希望他在往後的日子,能找到舞蹈中的答案,真的好想看他的演出。

昏睡

昨天又是昏睡的一天。

和和氣氣

和和氣氣不好嗎?小小的事情就要弄大,幸好這次是她去面對。沒有她那麼好氣。

給了她的東西,看都沒看就說做得不好,那麼要什麼呢?說要我週末把事情弄好,會給我要求,沒有啊!沒有她那麼好氣。

高層們才沒有她那麼小家子氣。

Thursday, December 2, 2010

越遲越好

說是請人的事宜,不想再找來一個“阿茂”。最好的一個,是她沒有見過就聘請的。

Work or Online

I prefer to online although I need to complete the task before I can go.

Alignment

In these 2 days, legs gave me alot of messages regarding the improper alignment. Even standing there is alot to adjust. This is another cycle to do the re-alignment. This is a non-stop process, just like we need to drink, eat and sleep daily.
 
One thing I am not sure is whether the body is getting stronger or in the opposite side.

阿媽

可以不可以不要一個類似阿媽的人在旁??!!講過就算,天天被監視。好煩!不會再理會。

幸好, 下個星期可以停一停。

All Met

Most likely, all met again :)
 
I want to type something......but.....watering :)

Wrong Perception

What I worried over the weekend (not much but abit), there is nothing happened (boss not even said a word for it). It really true that there is nothing for us to think. Mostly we think of how and what others react and say and it is really meaningless.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

換了

終於都換了午餐的餐牌,愛吃的還在,價錢沒變。

Sleepy......

Want to sleep now Zzzzzz......still have 2-hour to go :(