Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Embrace

Our reactions and emotional conditioning are rooted in a wrong perception of our life and our relationship to the world. In guided meditations and by deep looking we gain the opportunity to deepen our understanding. Seeing and experiencing the deep interconnectedness of our life with all life – Interbeing – we can relax more and more. The concept of a separate self that has to fight with others will slowly weaken. We can wake up to the support and love that is always there.

正念

昨晚在床上唱著Island of the self,試著讓自己想其他的事情,不可能。這是正念嗎??!!

應該,真空法師帶領total relaxation 的時候,就是唱著這歌。

燒魚

午飯時吃,晚飯也吃。種類不同。

近來

到了下午四點多,心態上準備離開了。她好煩,要準時走,否則問這問那。她越逼,少做一點就是了。

Another Small Circle

Being pushed to create a new small circle. Hate to do it. The reason being told is contradicted with what is being told to do. I am not a "doll" that I truly know :)
 
Don't know. My 6 sense telling me, it won't last long. However it also means this kind of thing will need to be repeated and repeated again. What I can do is to do more "watering" :)

So Interesting

Thought they won't access the file but they did. Then why need to ask me about the last no. So funny. What they see is what I see. But I won't argue with them and will continue to do what they ask. Don't want to be emotional although with that already.

Have a 2nd Thought

Actually it is me not to want to join with them. I not willing to talk 是非 all the times. And I don't need to repeat a sentence for a few times.

Monday, November 29, 2010

尋夢,追夢

主動和被動的分別啊!

謝謝她離開

我 如 何 得 知 僱 主 已 安 排 我 參 加 強 積 金 計 劃 ?
答: 僱 主 安 排 你 參 加 強 積 金 計 劃 後 , 計 劃 的 受 託 人 必 須 在 30 日 內 向 你 發 出 接 納 通 知 書 , 並 在 60 日 內 向 你 發 出 成 員 證 明 書 。
幸好!說我們不跟法例做事,是她沒有查看就呱呱叫。很怕這樣的人。

被隔離

對我來說,一點問題也沒有(沒有理由去接觸一些極度負面的人群)。如果新來的跟她們一樣,這是她的事宜啊!

Something Interesting

Heard of the song "Island of the Self" many times but cannot remember the lyrics (not even a bit).
 
One day, I read transcibe in Plum Village website and there is lyrics there. So I follow the words and I can sing the song (normally I cannot sing the song just seeing the words). After that, I can remember the whole song.

Gift :)

Sunday, November 28, 2010


You Should Stay Away From Pink


You are a strong person who doesn't back down when times get tough. You're ready to take on challenges.

You are honest and open. You love rational, logical discussion, and you're turn off by anything too emotional.

The color pink sometimes represents weakness and inhibition. By contrast, you pride yourself on being bold!

Pink can also be a bit claustrophobic, and there's nothing you seek more than freedom.



You Are Spontaneous and Easygoing




You know that life doesn't always go the way you plan, and to be honest, you think that's a beautiful thing.

You are good at letting go of control and seeing what just happens. You don't even try to change the future.

You stress less than most people and really cherish your imperfect life. You may have problems, but you don't let them weigh you down.

You find happiness wherever you can, and because of your attitude, you're able to find happiness in many places.

Your Vision is Free-Spirited




More than anything else, you'd like to see a world that is more tolerant, accepting, and loving.

It's minds like yours who traveled extensively, collected amazing stories, and shared them with others.

You have always been open to experiences and change. You refuse to limit yourself.

You feel most alive when you aren't being restricted by anyone. You hate rules!

猶疑

回想,很少機會會猶猶疑疑的。這是福氣。

堂上的一幕

沒有告訴我做好還是沒有,於是單腳轉身。玩玩也好。這就是我常說的亂做。

Saturday, November 27, 2010

感受

沒有東西想,可心是不定的。好想歌曲快點完(還說沒有想東西??!!),就可停止。暫時只能坐大概五分鐘。

平和

這個最好。平穩的時候,就最和氣了。

有人沒有理由對你不好的時候,要原諒他們啊!他們需要的是平和。可這平和,是要他們自己弄出來的。對他們微笑,是我可做的。

空間

想起上一次的課堂,兩個人面對面拉著對方,然後腳伸直,身軀儘量往後。起初,我們站得太近,腿不太能伸直也站得不穩。我建議大家往後退,得了。

不再畫花

而是畫圈寫念字。

聆聽

別人說我沒有聆聽,可每次聽的都清清楚楚。想想,想到了一點,我是好選擇地聽的。那些吐吐苦水的話,我是避免去聽的。如果想提供點意見,很樂意去聽。可那些嘮嘮叨叨的,我會避開。

可能就是這樣,別人看成我沒有聆聽。

Thursday, November 25, 2010

今晚吃了鍋燒烏冬,好像吃了一人火鍋一樣。最後剩下蛋黃(蛋白被我用滾湯燙得滑滑的),好不好吃呢?最後就由它在冷了的湯裡浮游。

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Namo Avalokitesvara

南無觀世音菩薩
Na-mo va-lo-ki-tesh-va-ra

發音是以上的。

是怎樣的一個人

做著決定這是怎樣的一個人的練習,總是不對。煩!個人生活裡,是不會這樣的,簡簡單單就好,合不來不往來就是了。

禪最好,一視同仁。

看看,禪,就是心裡簡單。

溝通,溝來溝去,怎通??!!

放手

剛剛鐘聲響起,不是第一時間就把手從滑鼠那裡提起(很簡單的事),有點逼自己去做。做了兩個深深的呼吸,好好的感覺。

其實就是這麼簡單。

想這想那,又是回到平時去的地方。

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Blossoming in Plum Village

可能是

久坐了,起來的時候,左腿活動得不好。原因可能是曲膝超過了九十度。乘車沒有這不適,只在工作和在父母家看報紙雜誌的時候。要多多留意。

劇場

會告別一段時間了,好像沒有什麼好看的。

看到

當你看到問題時,表示你已開始跳出問題,擁有更多選擇了。

不需要 Social

我是這樣的一個人,很好。

It is the Situation

While doing the same thing as boss, the feeling is there is no listening. Turn out no communication. Remember Thay told us, when A is B and B is A, then communication happens.
 
We may try our best to talk, but how much is related to communication. If for talk, it is less and less. I prefer not to talk as it will not create problem:) Don't say anything then there is no story telling by others. I know it is not healthy but really don't want to think of a way. At least currently I feel ok. What I do differently is that I try to carry a smile :) At least, this is kind of practising (I guess).

討好

到了這年紀,不需要去討好別人令自己好過了。日子過得很好,當然有些事情不在控制範圍(也不到自己控制)。喜歡到那裡,這點,很清楚了吧!

矛盾

報告說我是矛盾的。換個角度,好像擁有全部。這得,那又得。

People

go well with people who are also liked to produce results...hohoho
 
I always think, for personal chosing, why I need to stay with people that are not willing to work hard (hate to listen to people that are going to say the same again and again). Sure I don't mind to help others to do anything but sure they need with the heart to do so. I don't know, just like saving, nothing to buy then save and no need to spend without a purpose.

Still the Rarest

Taking similar personality profile testing, the name of the result is not the same but still is the rarest. With this profile, how others can know me well :)

咬著不放

這麼用力為什麼呢?差不多全是幾乎沒有。每人看我不一樣 (有些更是兩極),這也正常。

從這裡,體會到懂得欣賞 是不容易的。或者,我也是很用力的人啊!時常想著的是可以做好為何不。我的想法沒有錯的,只是不適合現代的很多人。就像我的朋友,他說不會坐禪,說這些方法不適合他。事實上他沒有嘗試過。坐禪不 坐禪不是 重點,而是平靜的 心也不要??!!令我想起 營裡的情況,有些人覺得事情合適的了,可態度不一樣,出來的行為很不一樣。

看,這一件事,也太複雜了。

MTR Experiment

To a certain extent, I walk even slowly (may be physically it is not), same result :)

Monday, November 22, 2010

身體叫我去睡了

晚安!

在營裡寫下的感受或所見 - 4 to 8 Nov 2010

以下是在禪堂裡寫的。
  • 第一天聽到“修習”,誤以為收集。
  • 共修的分享 (from a reporter):為什麼天使會飛?因為他們看得自己很輕。我們說話重,因為看得自己很重。
  • 在第三天的坐禪,in & out,覺得煩厭,有點想逃離現場。
    (這點我在佛法分享時跟法師說了,待在香港的一個,對這點很有興趣。在第二天的時候,感受過雀鳥叫聲的美妙,頓時空間大了
  • think of to just follow and do it but it is not the case, therefore just let the heart to be
  • walking meditation: able to keep the pace, seeing people 從後而上
  • in - 2 steps, out - 3 steps, 1st feeling, not easy
  • practise: firstly to follow the pace of 法師, then try to say 12345, then remember that there should be one step after breath out, then seem find the current most suitable way to practise
  • same as breathing, seem to pay attention to in out then forgot the feet
  • is it to concentrate on the moment while foot is touching the ground?
  • then try to notice (or want to notice)
  • notice that trying to do 2 things at a time
  • and keeping the pace
  • breakfast: yesterday thought that today is fried noodle & congee. Yes.
  • 買了vitasoy,在早餐之前
  • like to eat with others as they are practising the noble silent
  • 粟米粥的粟米很甜
  • 昨晚的晚餐有春而是熱的,好開心。拿了三件,在吃的途中想著吃完以後再拿,可想想,三件已經過多了不,還吃??!!
  • 想別人,應該還是不?
  • being reminded so many times to be noble silent at least in meditation hall, meal, however people keep on to talk and those may not be necessary and one thing may say for many times
  • going to retreat, the purpose should be very clear. then?
  • I don't know whether it is a judgement or something for my reflection
  • anyway, I write above in the meditation hall waiting for the Dharma talk. It is ok to have sound around and I can do what I do
  • yesterday felt like very long, doing alot of things and seem like I stay in the retreat for many days already
  • 拿了參加 five mindfulness trainings 的表格,昨天還說不參與的,不知道呢,寫的一刻,still willing
  • after walking meditation,人精神多了
  • 今早的sitting meditation,僧團們好像很累的,男的說時有點匆忙,女的好像有點懶漫
  • 禪師也比昨天累,看他打了兩個呵欠(不同時間)
  • right foot on the left thigh, another side not very comfortable and support not good
  • neck uncomfortable, want to sleep
  • 拿著匙,很自然地就會在口裡還有食物的時候放進第二口
  • 放下它,就什麼都不會發生了
  • 筷子也是要放下的,可是懶,也不勉強了
  • 要去吃飯的了,可吃了芝士條(還吃完再吃)和一包三塊的花生醬夾心餅
  • 他們還聽法老師在解釋什麼的,本來想著一起吃飯也自己去了
  • 頗享受跟不認識的卻行動一致的人一起
  • 來的目的,就是做一些不同的
  • 晚上再有sitting meditation,要 concentrate
還有兩天(第三天的還沒有寫完),原來當時寫了這麼的多。
  • 親緣
  • 地緣
  • spiritual 緣 (良師益友)
  • 第一和第二,沒有什麼
  • 做著 第三的時候,人貼著地面多一點,空間(inside body) 大了
  • 看到名牌上的組別,不悅的問了一句,為何是這個英文名字,可也想到yoga 班上也有同名字的人
  • 學氣功,她們掛著拍蚊,我可不怕。法師也有趕蚊的。
  • 填表格,最後是以念作結。
  • 呼吸練習,很多人在咳嗽
  • neck discomfort, is due to chest & shoulder didn't open
  • 第四天,天晴
  • 吃了麥皮
  • yesterday doing sitting meditation after dinner, feeling abit "pain" (not really pain but didn't know how to describe while breathing out
  • morning sitting meditation ok in the starting but end up always thought of ending (starting from middle)
  • Ding......停下來
  • yesterday notice that the workers in canteen also followed our pace. at that moment, really feeling the influence of a "group" (這點在完結,大會司儀也有提到)
  • there is nothing to push but people may choose and decide what to do in the moment
幸好當時有寫,否則很多的細節不會記起。其實當時寫的很有限(還沒有打好),能寫的還多。
  • at the last night: a lady came to talk to me proactively. when I told her I practise yoga, she said I looked liked of it as I am calm. she may be 30 years older than me
  • the last day: practising to be neutral especially for talking, just like an observer
  • during the transmission ceremony, finally able to sit in still and discover that the way I was sitting was not the way and it is why the neck is feeling uncomfortable (there is reason)
  • during the last Dharma talk, back is feeling soft
以下是現在回想而寫的。

  • 朋友接受訪問,我也八卦去看看(其實是要坐朋友車離開)。那又是一個體驗。喜歡聽別人的分享。來訪問的都是一些報館,很年青。有一個發問了一個問題,其實他的感覺沒有錯。就是分享所說的,好像把事情神化了。當時我自我回答,對啊!沒有參加過的沒能體會。是力量,能量所帶出來的東西。幸運的我,接觸能量的時候還多,可以好肯定地對大家說,是環境是人的組合。
  • 有留意出家人吃的是什麼,看見有幾個都加了醬油,又 加辣椒。
  • 吃了這麼多餐,很佩服他們的設計,基本上沒有重複的。 春捲出現了兩次,喜歡啊!
  • 僧團裡,很多男子樣貌都好好看。那時在想,他們的素質那麼好,沒了延續,那麼世上的人的素質就差了一點點了。
  • 一個陌生人,居然可以跟他同檯吃飯三次。
  • total relaxation 的時候,某朋友就在我旁。
離開後,同車的人在說大家在營裡都相處得好好,可回到現實又能這樣嗎!所以說僧團很重要的,要時常回歸 (在營裡也時常提醒我們)。

黑臉人

黑臉人要走了,對她來說應該是好事。好好的光陰,用來黑臉為什麼。年輕人,日子還多,學習微笑吧!不笑都不好沒有理由的黑臉。黑臉,別人未必看到(看到又如何),令自己臉部肌肉緊張啊!

Not the Same

Yesterday woke up early and tried to do walking meditation from MTR to yoga practise centre. However it is really not the case. I could walk slowly but the mind was very busy (I was not thinking of anything). In the retreat, we do sitting meditation first and it seem is a must.

亂做

一定要做,那麼亂做。嘻!不會錯的,只會少。

《後代》

。有我喜歡的導演。

2 Oct 2010

很奇怪,人在臺上卻播放錄影(都是那三個人)。為何不直接演出來呢?想不明白。
三個人的對白,可是自說自話,自己跟自己演戲
演出是好看的,可話題不能令我有共鳴。沒了後代,不是問題吧!

課堂體驗

盤坐的時候,被導師微微把上身推前。這個是知道的。
一坐下,腿在跟我說話。要看看是那裡,原來是左邊大腿外側。其實在平時的日子,那裡也在跟我溝通呢!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Singing Meditation

這裡的很好聽。聽著聽著,會微笑的,呼吸也會慢下來。

到家了

1. 般若波羅密多心經 (心經)

又稱為般若心經。般若是梵語,古印度的言語,中譯為「智慧」。波羅密多,波羅譯為「彼岸」,密多譯為「到」。整合即「彼岸到」的意思,若依中國的文法應為「到彼岸」,和中國人的成語「到家了」意思很接近,也就是究竟圓滿之義。
哪裡找,一早就找好了。

心經為六百卷《大般若經》之精華,即大般若之中心思想。

沒有帶電話

幸好!回到家,聽到留言的提示響聲(留言裡沒有說話),是老闆。假期找我做什麼?原來是關於那女子。那麼什麼也不需要理會,明天不上班嗎!是一定的了。是什麼,明天才算(反正有預感她這個星期不會來)。

Saturday, November 20, 2010

本應如此

很喜歡這四個字。

酸醋

拿了朋友的薑醋回家,爸爸自己買了醋,天天弄東西吃。今晚又有得吃了。聽說明天會有鴨掌。

每年一會

如無意外,應該每年都會參加一次禪修(全程只坐的暫時應該不會參與)。在哪?可不知道。

第一次,其實是在八八掛掛,能專心的時數沒有多少(可以安靜,但不是專注);也或多或少帶點疑惑和比較。

Mindful Clock

不是每次鐘聲響起都願意停下來的。如果可以每次都這樣做,已經很好。為什麼不願意,這倒不知道。其實這只是一兩秒的事情。

收到她電郵的那個人

她在facebook 更改電郵,確認郵件到了我這裡,於是寫電郵給她問她是否那個人,可沒有回答。怪怪的。

昨晚電視節目又在談論退休後需要多少錢,數字很簡單的,現在要用幾多,儲幾多就是了。每月幾百,說什麼也是白費力氣。都是那一句,好好讀書,好好工作,賺多一點,這個很實際的。

買早餐記

媽媽跟女孩,到了她們買餐的時候,還不知道要什麼。每每要問女孩要吃什麼,女孩就是猶疑的。媽媽沒有想過讓後面的人先買。稍稍等了一下,我就買我自己的(她們還站在原處)。最後她們什麼也沒買。

小孩子要教導的,從父母開始。

Friday, November 19, 2010

人為的

做多做少,人為的。換了人,一些工作不需要再做,多好。

想起了他

昨晚,臨睡前,有點認真的。十四年沒見了。一起去過那裡吃飯,還記得的;可不記得我們談什麼了。

Gift Again :)

營房

就是住在這裡了。
營房沒有上鎖的,反覺更加安全。
房間是這樣的(共四間房)。有兩晚(這房間),得我一個人。
第一次到的地方,金紫荊廣場。

拍來拍去,兩面旗就是走在一起。

Dharma talk

The Dharma talk is a kind of device that can help you to allow the seed of wisdom and awakening in you to manifest, and not to take the Dharma talk as notions and ideas in order to make heavier your luggage of knowledge. That is the idea of the Buddha.
You have to practice. You have to sacrifice your happiness. If you have that feeling, you are caught.

Practise

The Buddha says that this understanding does not come from others – it is the practitioner's own understanding. That is to say, this kind of teaching is not a theory, is not something that Sariputra can tell you and you believe it and therefore you are transformed. You are in touch with suffering and the unmaking of suffering and the making of suffering right in the present moment in your own continuum. That understanding will arise from your own practice; it is not something that is given to you by somebody else. It can only arise from your own practice.

方法,是在有了明白和瞭解才有用的。不需要用力(下下用力,哪來的力氣),有恒心就能。可人總是不願意相信,走走走。去了哪??!!

Name

Let me begin to explain to you the differences between a lineage name, a Dharma name, and a Dharma title. Each of us, upon receiving the five mindfulness trainings, is given a lineage name ( pháp danh, 法名). When one is ordained as a monastic member or an OI-member, one receives a Dharma name (pháp tự, 法字). Some monastic members also have a Dharma title (pháp hiệu, 法號). Thầy, our teacher, has the lineage name Trừng Quang (澄光), the Dharma name Phùng Xuân (逢春) and the Dharma title Nhất Hạnh (一行). We call him Zen Master Thích Nhất Hạnh.

As a disciple of Thầy, your lineage name is e.g., Compassion of the Heart. Heart (Tâm, 心) is the 9th classical Chinese character of Zen Master Liễu Quán's gatha:

Thiệt tế đại đạo Tánh hải thanh trừng Tâm nguyên quảng nhuận Đức bổn từ phong Giới định phúc tuệ Thể dụng viên thông Vĩnh siêu trí quả Mật khế thành công Truyền trì diệu lý Diễn xướng chánh tông Hành giải tương ứng Đạt ngộ chân không.

寔際大道, 性海清澄心源廣潤, 德本慈風戒定福慧, 體用圓通永超智果, 密契成功傳持妙理, 演暢正宗行解相應, 達悟真空

幾搞笑

剛剛才公報,可剛剛又說某人不來了;立即有人補上,可沒有公報名字。

歪風

近來關於學校的報導,真的是歪風。捐款得來的都可以入學校帳,還有更差的事嗎??!!

喜歡

很喜歡按delete 的按鈕(代表完成或者不需要處理)。

Gift

a small one :)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

湯年糕

某晚吃的。

湯不好,看湯色可以知道。

便宜的

近來買的一雙。

咖啡要十多元,本想著用現金券的,可不想走來走去。大風一吹,把空的紙杯吹走了。剛巧有人檢垃圾。

買了新口味(焦糖古古力薯片)的Royce 給弟弟(HK$85),是一起吃的。

沒有告知就回家吃飯,因為爸爸弄的,多出一個人也夠吃。

愛語的力量

還沒有學著禪師說一樣的話,可承諾修習愛語已經得著了很多。很奇妙的一件事。

久沒見面的朋友,下一次聚會,可能會出席。flowering :)

Sleep

Now, around 10:30pm, body will call for sleep. However I sleep around mid-night (earlier than before). The quality of sleep is back now, can say it is A grade :)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

意外

他主動的告訴了一些,感到意外。明天有功課交了,呵呵!

營的第四天開示

無分別智

若此有則彼有
若此無則彼無
若此生則彼生
若此滅則彼滅
相即 - A is B, B is A
then communication can happen

noble path 八正道

懶寫(也不知道怎寫),就把當時記下來的直接貼上。













以下是現在回想而寫的。

不記得是哪一天,禪師用左右手作解釋,說左右手能力不同,可它們從來都能好好共處。
When you observe my right hand, my right hand has the wisdom of non discrimination. My right hand operates also on the ground of no self, no discrimination. That is why there is no complex of superiority, or inferiority, or equality. You are surprised to see that the surprise of being equal is a bad complex. It is a complex; therefore it is bad. Because, the wisdom of non discrimination is the wisdom that allows you to see that you belong to the same body, to the same Sangha, to the same reality. You see, he is you and "you" is him. Therefore, there is no need to compare. When you say that I am as good as he is, you operate on the notion of self; and therefore the complex of equality is also a disease, a sickness. You just rejoice, whether your big sister or your younger sister is beautiful. Operating wonderfully as a practitioner, you rush to rejoice; you don't have jealousy, you don't compare. Everything she achieves, you achieve; everything you achieve, she achieves. And that is the spirit of non discrimination.

看這段,會容易明白左右手的說法。

May GO???!!!

Will not show up this week and not sure about next week. The thing I think of is no need to have lunch together.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

比較

又一體驗,比較是很累人的,單是看已經很累。擁有的比我多,還不滿足。不累的嗎?

這就是看不到擁有而只專注於沒有。

喜歡禪,那裡沒有比較。當下是什麼就是什麼,不需要多加解釋,也不需要逃避。用心感受就好。

28 Dec 07

很怕跟計較的人合作,近來的,就是因為這個原因。我什麼也不計,還來計,想點??!!

28 Nov 09

三年前對禪的理解。

跟我做朋友的要走了,看到招聘廣告。

後話:原來走的是另一人。

沒有第一天的

沒有第一天的開示記錄,當晚乘了順風車,遲了,而走來走去,沒有坐定(她們沒有一個參與所有的活動)。

關於朋友的

她沒有告訴實質的情況,只知道還要看醫生,藥沒有減,而換了新的藥。她說頭痛,吃了藥就不痛(可她看的不是病理醫生),可安睡。

或者,減少冷飲已經可以幫忙。

吃不吃肉

還沒有在這方面有所改變,覺得不是吃肉不吃肉的問題,而是要吃的適當。或者語言上的素還更重要。

感覺幸福

每見一則關於禪師的文章,就感受一次幸福。

要學,一定會。星州的同事不需要告訴,已經做了我所做的。他們不是不知道也不是不會,而是沒有時間去做好。慢慢地在這裡幫著他們,他們用心的回應了。

不跟著別人胡亂走

這是很重要的,要走,自己走自己的路,不要跟著別人,那是很累的。

路,用足各自行出來的。

Monday, November 15, 2010

啞的心。

A Cow as well

Why I need to complete all the tasks within the day (some of them are not urgent or important). I know the reason that I feel good of it. However is it really a need to do this to have the feeling?
 
Now I make a change. And happy writing the notes of the retreat :)

營裡的第三天開示

<---if mindful then 念 (念 can impact feeling, then with 安) --->安 (also can impact feeling),慧 ,受, 想
受 feeling
想 perception
思 illusion / without practise
 
真言
1. I am suffer, I want you to know it
2. I am doing my best
3. Pls help
4. to ask for explanation (many things perceived with wrong perception)
 
/ 相 sign
become the object of the heart
listening - to help others to talk to suffer less but own 1st
mindfulness listening - will not feeling anger

Wonderful Moment

I feel joyful while hearing someone told me she was very angry last week. I don't think she was angry but just is her presentation. Actually nothing is changed but just how I feel is different. Maybe my tone is not the same as before as it is not so pushing (perceive by others). So believe that once you allow something to happen, then it may happen.

她覺得不對的事情是始於已經成了不會改變的事實,而她自己也看了,只是逼我們做只有她一個人看的東西。她自己無端受苦,也要別人受苦。何必呢!

Bingo

What I thought is happened.

打了針

營裡第二天的開示

寫的是當時筆錄下來的東西(不是全程記錄)。
mindfulness
energy 2 is to take care of energy 1, e.g. of energy 1 is anger
embrace anger, like a mother to take care of a child
no resistance to anger as it is part of us
transform, like to turn on air-con to turn the high temp. to be cool
煩惱 / 覺醒, 煩惱不是敵人
煩惱即菩提
覺醒 / 平安
無分别智
苦樂相即
目的:怎樣處理痛苦得到幸福
逃避不是好的習慣
佛心不二
正定, 專注
念 + 定 / wisdom
love may turn to hate, turn hate to love, like organic farming
others suffer, also affecting us
they need help, not to punish
mingfulness breathing: 1. to know in & out
2. to follow the breath, from begining to the end
the only object in the mind
3. 身行覺
現象生起, formation
body is also formation
4. allow the body to release the inside tension, in order to calm down
the above 4 is for the body
use sitting position to practise, walking as well
5. joy 喜覺
6. happiness 樂覺
7. painful feeling 覺察痛苦
8. release 痛苦
from 5 to 8 is about feeling
苦 集 (to understand) 滅 道
how / happiness
1. 離 (let go)  生 喜 樂
2. mindfulness 念
3. concentration 定
4. understanding 慧

遇見的

很早的以前, 已經感覺到在老師那裡的某些東西不存在,那些是能跟我配合的東西。老師很好,可就是少了團隊的磁場。這些是很微妙的事情。

Flowering

Just do the flowering to friend G :)
 
How long we didn't communicate? Last met was to enjoy dance show together. In between, I sent emails to her but those are not mindful. I do it today together with a mindful practise. It is so peaceful.

MTR Experiment

10 mins earlier and there is a seat waiting for me. The moment before I thought of space around me. What I am wanting is people don't stand near me, not body touching body.
 
I have the feeling. I have alot of space around me and it is protecting :)

是但

不需要認真的時候,“是但”就可以了。

與其追,倒不如另找新的。

I am Here for You

It is really important and critical. Back to self, 3 in breath and out breath. Still no time to do? Still busy?

午飯時,吃到一半就出現飽的感覺,是可以停手的;可又把它們吃掉。吃多了。
每一餐,要吃的真的不多;不過要少吃多餐。

課堂體驗

大休息,老師來按著肩膀以下的地方。他看到了什麼呢??!!
身體硬硬的,任何的地方。連最簡單的easy pose 也感到有點吃力。
lying leg up,腿不是直的(膝以下的地方)。
lying roll up,老師說著是腹用力,不是頸;那麼頸就越用力。

講座點滴

四樣東西:花 (ourselves)、山(solid & stable)、淨水 (這個忘記了) 和空間 (free),這是在營裡沒有聽過的。

好好的坐,腿感到有點熱。一刻,好像在睡夢中紮醒,人有點暈,有點怕,回到平時的自己。其實在營裡做深度放鬆也有這樣的感覺,遲點要問問法師這是什麼的一回事。

坐椅子不比坐墊舒服。

能量很好,八千人,可會場是靜靜的。

僧團唱誦的同時,鼓勵我們想著我們關心的人。先是家人,然後是還見面的朋友,住在遠方的朋友;突然想到沒有想起同事,又突然想起沒有想起朋友S。在寫的時候,想起了一些當時沒有想起的。

問朋友聽後的感覺,她說時間沒有想像中難過。

朋友買了《放下心中的牛》,是一個好開始。她有太多固有的思想,把她絆住了。

發現一些關於她的,好喜歡問問題,可別人告知她答案的時候,她還在問問題。把我觀察到的告訴了她,不知道有否問問題,不過她的樣子好疑惑。

Saturday, November 13, 2010

沒變

在銀行裡碰見十多年沒見的舊同事(忘記了他的名字),他說我的樣子沒有怎麼的變(他也沒變,不是的話,怎相認)。

花花草草

怎樣也拍不好。

大個女

姐姐的大女去了做part time,大個女了。

跟朋友一起吃飯一路談話,也能一口一口吃。

At 5:40am

第一天,在等待禪堂開門時拍的。
我是站在那圓頂下拍的。

給媽媽的

After the 2nd Time Walking Meditation

終於沒有下雨了。那一刻在想,如果我們平時也能這樣,多麼的好,人人都很悠閒的。再想想,我們本應如此。

Walking in the Rain

第一天的行禪因為下雨取消了,可雨在第二天還在下。那時不知道禪師也有參與,看回有關照片才知道。

(相片由官方網站下載)

別話:本來打算不帶傘的了,可出發一天的下午居然下起雨來。幸好有傘,不然的話都頗麻煩,因為隨後的兩天都在下雨。

Friday, November 12, 2010

Back

Discover that I am going back to the self. I was liked that in the past. Clearly remember that. I sure what I prepared for the retreat in return get the way :)

Another Thing Will Come Up

I can sure sooner or later, another thing will come up to the team. To me, it is no difference as it is just a simple task. Currently too much spare time (although I can do the study but it is no good).

Maybe

I can say this will be a pattern that she will not show up on Tue. as well. There should be no action from any parties although she likes to have an unstable schedule. It may lead to totally disappeared finally.
 
I am not trying to compress the emotion. Just a moment, I ask them to come up but nothing (or I don't aware). Still have wrong assumption before thing comes up but it is slowly improved. Here a bad seed and I don't need to flower it :)

照清

有火有水
有日有月
火跟日,月跟水
越看越有意思

Cow

I think I have let go of one of them :)

Understanding

以為是明白,是諒解。
 
under, something beneath
standing, make it able to be seen by others
明白好像是完结了
諒解是繼續的
有了明白,才能諒解

Chewing

1,2,3,4,5......until 30
 
Cannot do so during the retreat and found it very tired eating in this way. Always want to finish faster then try to put more food into the month. However knowing this is not the way. Reading a talk record of 法印法师, he said the purpose of this way of chewing is to make the solid into liquid and it is for easy digestion purpose.
 
Trying to do it again last night and I chewed more than 30. Maybe it was too crowd (to me is no space to practise it well). We had 9 persons to eat together. Trying to do and do it naturally are 2 different things. Need time and don't be too serious, it was what 法印法师 told me.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

以物易物

要買禮物給bb 仔,當然是金。現在的金很貴,對上一次買好像是四千左右,現在是兩倍有多。在家裡找找看,有什麼可以拿去換。snoopy 吊嘴,它很可愛,不想啊!那麼看看星期六銀行開門不開門。不開門的話,更喜歡都要拿去換。

搬椅子

好喜歡做這的,幫忙了兩次。有次是路過而做。

Embrace

那個圓,可解說是embrace。

Voice is Back

Discover that the voice is back, which was the one before 1995.

Just to Remove

Friend S uses the same saying pattern and my emotion arised is not the same as before. I tell myself just not to take those words which causing the emotion. Actually without those words, the message is clearer.
 
He always says he is busy. However busy for what? Or just a feeling of rushing and use double or even more time to complete a task. I need to do more experiment by myself :)

MTR Experiment

I am a bit further late today. However I can get a seat (a little bit surprise, it is 8:40am). I take the chance to do sitting meditation.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

悶,增加

在悶的情況下,會把事情增多。試著減去一些,可效果要是一樣的。

上背

上背的肉少了一些。

不喜歡做決定

隨心,就事成。昨晚還沒有打算,可過了一夜,晨早就行動了。還寫得滿滿的,也是剛剛好。

耳朵靈敏了

今天的發現,機能上的。

深淺色

帶回家的

還帶回了真空法師的《真愛的功課》。

有她在簽名的時候沒買,只聽了她說故事的兩句話(那黃昏沒去運動的一天),就走去買了。帶錢不夠,問朋友拿錢買的。

(衣服顏色不是相片中的)

Mindful

The original state of our mind is full. That is why it is called mindful.
When we are in a situation, we either say we like him or we do not like him, I like this or I don't like this. The moment we have contact with any object of our perception, right away our feeling begin to come in.
The new version of this saying is: I have arrived, I am home. Whatever comes to our daily life in this moment, I am happy with it. We learn to accept it the way it is. And do not reject it or grasp it. This embodies the spirit of Mahayana Buddhism. There is no enlightenment to be attained. It is there already for us. The question is whether we are there for it. The moment we allow ourselves to be enlightened we are enlightened.
Home is not a statement for arrival. Home is here and now. That is talking about the space and the time.

Germany

May schedule a trip to Germany. Don't know when but sure will go there. 1st trip may last for 2-week, most likely can make it next year.

MTR Experiment Again

Today I do the same experiment and I can get into the train although it is re-opened after close.
 
 

放下

佛陀 說:「放 不 下,就 擔起來。」弟子就領悟了。

放不下是因為擔得不夠,擔得太輕。如果你擔得不夠,不願意放下,只有繼續擔,擔到擔不動時,自然就會放下。譬如,今天讓你擔一百斤,你能做得到,要是讓你擔二百斤、三百斤,恐怕走不了幾步,你就擔不動,自然而然就放下了。
所以,放不下時怎麼辦?就是承擔起來。承擔以後,你才能真正地放下。倘若你尚未承擔,即無重擔,既無重擔,何來放下呢?佛陀當時教育弟子如何放下,用的就是這個方法。
這是為朋友找來的(不經意找到的)。他說放下,我告訴他這時候不是放下。他對放下的瞭解根本不明白。讓他看看,能明白多少。

開示

開一個類別,寫記錄下來禪師的開示(不是原文記錄的,是一個大概。寫錯了,是我的領略不好,是需要學習的部分。能明白的,去修習)。

  • To be, not to be, not a question to ask.
  • transformation, like turn on air-con, it turns the high temp. to be cool
  • not to find, to wake up, then able to see Budda is within already

似不似傘

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

悠閒的

在等朋友一起離開時拍下的。

Ending 的感受

到了最後的一刻,眼淚來了,一刻要哭。不捨。

禪師的中文字

相片是從官方網站下載的。

雨中等

拿著傘拍的。
剛剛有人走過,可不會影響照片的感覺。好像還好一些。

從樹梢往遠處望,很美。

陽光照射著的早餐

紅豆花生粥好好味道。

同檯食飯各自修行(以前總以為是負面的),我們真的是這樣。九人一起,人齊就開飯,可是不許說話的。聽到鐘聲,要停下來,回到自己的呼吸。

平常吃飯當然不會拍照,這是最後一天的早餐,跟朋友一起(得四個人),他拍我也拍。

Eating together

Clear

Clear all the emails received during leaves and also the left over of the staff. In between, read passages as well :)

Food in Retreat

Eat as usual (Japanese food) but I miss the food in retreat. It is unexpected and unbelievable.

Doing Too Much

Notice that I hate the most is we are doing too much and those too much is not helping, just a wastage.
 
P.S. today busy in mindfulness and it is too much I can say. However need time to adjust to the comfortable pace, just like to find the alignment.

Sangha


The Sangha is the community that lives in harmony and awareness.
Seem it is no point for me to struggle what I need to do to have the situation changed (most of the emotion comes from here, per current awareness). Sure it is not meant there is nothing to do. It is just a cow that I need to let go.

I don't know whether I will really like the new community. If not giving a try, never will know. At least can meet with some experienced practitioners. I can sure can learn alot from them.

Sound of the Bell

Just heard the bell rings for the noon. It is so beautiful. Normally I cannot hear it but just the sound of the boom but today I can :) 

Today Observation

In MTR, while changing train, people like to run from one platform to another. I walk as usual and we are in the same train.
 
To think: Why we need to rush liked that.
 
 

Gift :)

Finally got it :)

Monday, November 8, 2010

多輕鬆

很累,沒有參加運動活動。

Thay

Thay may refer to:
The Vietnamese word "Thầy", meaning "master" of "teacher".
A name often applied to Nhat Hanh.
這幾天,聽了很多不懂的字,要學。

感謝

關於retreat,會慢慢寫,可以寫的很多。可首先要感謝老師,不是他令我喜歡yoga,不會看這麼多有關文章;不是他,不會去參加與不同能力的人相處的半天課程;不是去了課堂,不會去聽衍空法師的講座(今天見到他,有機會跟他說了他對我的幫助,他說了一句,現在可學到了比較多一些的嗎。然後他在隔檯吃飯,讓我觀察了一些);不是去聽了講座,不會多看了很多佛法的文章;不是這樣,不會參加禪營;不會不會......

後話:把以上的電郵了老師。第一次啊!

一行禪師大弟子法印法師

原來是禪師的大第子,他給了一個讓我滿心歡喜的名字(那是我最想修習的事情,是一個要行動的名字)。和他結了緣(一個很大的因緣),很是歡喜。

Happiness Is Here And Now

Happiness is here and now
I have dropped my worries
No where to go
Nothing to do
No longer in a hurry

Happiness is here and now
I have dropped my worries
Somewhere to go
Something to do
But i don't need to hurry
Listen to the song

時常把worries 讀成merries :)

Back

Back from the retreat and already received the photos taken by the organizer. This can tell us what???!!!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

出發

星期一回來。

關於吃

時常想著怕餓(要不要買餅乾),餓什麼。不用上班的日子,很多時候都是過了兩點才吃,今天就是三點。星期天也是上完課才吃,現在課堂前會喝一盒豆漿,以前就是什麼也不喝。很多時吃,不是餓而是想吃罷了。所以,還需要擔心吃的事宜嗎?

變化

不帶傘的了,可現在下著雨,要不要帶呢?另外,需要多帶一件外套嗎?

量化寬鬆

不明白這是什麼,只知道美國在印大量的銀紙,跟著來到股票市場(應該還有其他能賺錢的市場)買買買。

日常用品

原來也頗多的。已經儘量少帶,連錢包也沒拿(帶了四張卡計有身份證、八達通、提款卡、信用卡和幾張紙幣,零錢就不帶了)。鞋,就穿拖鞋,方便洗澡完穿(反正自己也喜歡穿的)。想不帶睡覺的衣服,不過跟人家一起,多帶一套了。大會說要帶大毛巾,不帶了,只拿了一條保暖的圍巾。帶了襪子,雖然不喜歡穿,可要帶啊!要保暖。多帶了相機,不知道可否拍照,帶著好了。

外表看,出門是要拿的已經有背包、隨身包和yoga mat。

還未做的,吃午飯,洗澡洗頭(那麼今晚就不用洗了)和收拾清潔用品。

即飛

是朋友的事,不過覺得不是味兒。昨午告知今天要飛(星期六回來),還說是機密項目,沒有告知內容(一天多些可做什麼呢)。朋友的孩子今天出院,雖然只是小手術,不過相信孩子好想見到父母。他時常說quality of time,這次可能就什麼也補救不了。童年陰影。

如果是我,一定不去。有被玩的感覺(話飛就飛,他本身沒有事情要交代的嗎??!)。不過,我好肯定,朋友是喜歡的。他最喜歡這些好似是代表了某些東西的事情。出差而做機密事情啊!

有張票

原來某公司寄出了退款也不知道,也原來某服務被人終止了。

Weather is so Good

From: Yahoo HK

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

準備

想過這樣那樣,最後都是越少越好(身外物,會帶一本記事本。必需品不計算在內)。明天睡醒才收拾。

再看一看日程表,八小時睡眠時間,其他的都安排了活動。一日三餐每次一個半小時(有過千人一起進食),起床梳洗有四十五分鐘,一小時的完全放鬆活動,一個半小時運動時間。

想想,平常的一天也要這樣過的。

我想的是,跟yoga 一樣,都是找回alignment,生活中的。一些懂卻遺忘的,要尋回。這些這些,是為未來的日子做準備。或者,就是下一刻。

加價

枝豆加三塊,25%。set lunch 還沒有加。

要零

餘下很少很少,都說太多。小姐,不如我連你的工作都做,好未??!! 幾時這人要離開呢??!!只說不行動,問題不會解決的。好想幫她的,可不提供資料也沒有辦法。工作不需要我做的,閒時答答她們的問題,懶理。她們很怪,要知,可開始解釋又不聽。想點??!!不聽,那麼把手冊影印下來給她們看。做了已經可以做的,心安理得。

問我明白不明白

明白的話就做了,就不會等著你們來告訴怎麼做。他們要的我不知道(要資料早點說,要我追了又追,無聊),找區域。

Exciting......waiting another gift :)

Gift :)

Special Gift :)

不如去吃脆脆

朋友好心的說安排一起坐車,去她們晚飯的地方去。不想吃太多,要早睡啊!不如去吃脆脆喝鹹檸七,嘻!

沒得全中了

是結構性問題。

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

好有緣

義工聯絡姐姐也去retreat。

跟她第一次見面她就把我認出了,可我想不起在哪裡見過她。這,就是緣分。

Gift Tomorrow ???!!!

還有一個工作天

準備去retreat 了。

好好感恩

今天暈了半天,要好好的感恩。

唇乾了

昨天喝了沒有幾口水,今天到了六點才喝了幾口水(之前喝粥喝咖啡),唇乾了。現在多喝幾口水,好了些。

Monday, November 1, 2010

又想起

不知為何,久不久就想起三個星期的美國之旅。

Gift :)